UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN

Fighting among  young children

Constant fighting, put downs, and arguing among children cause

frustration and concern in most parents. Although sibling rivalry

can have several reasons, brothers and sisters often fight to get the

attention of parents or to show power or superiority over another child.

Some bickering is normal among brothers and sisters. Constant

arguing, fighting, and creating potentially dangerous situations,

however, are not normal. The following are some ideas to help

reduce your frustration over quarrelsome siblings and lessen the

fighting too?.

Let siblings express their feelings about each other

When children complain about each other, parents often try to talk

them out of their feelings. (“You shouldn’t be mad at your sister,” or

“Stop complaining. He’s the only brother you have.”)

Instead, acknowledge their anger or frustration. Let your children

know that you understand their anger. That can help them feel better

and even treat another child better. Use this as a tool to lessen sibling

rivalry in several ways. Identify the angry child’s feelings with words,

(“You sound furious! You wish he’d ask before using your things.”)

 and suggest symbolic or creative activity (“Would you like to draw

a picture of how mad you feel?”).

You may be surprised at how quickly the anger disappears when

you let your children know that you’re aware of, and understand

their frustration.?