Treat children individually, not equally
Parents sometimes believe that the best way to avoid
arguments
and unhappiness among their children is to give equally to
each
child. New clothing for a child often is matched with
something new for
the siblings too. Spending time with one child often means
trying to
spend an equal amount of time with the other.
This practice of attempting to give equally to all the
children only
encourages comparisons by the children who often feel
cheated. No
matter how hard you try to make things the same portions of
favorite food, time spent, or gifts given children are bound to find some way that you’re not being fair.Children feel special and
valued
when you give to each according to individual need. Instead
of telling
children that you love them equally, privately point out
their special
qualities that have nothing to do with others in the family.
(“I love
spending time with you” or “You’re the only one like you in
the whole
world and I love you.”)?
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